Brainy Bethany: Confidence?

Dear Bethany,

You seem like the type of person who exudes confidence, and gets straight A’s in class. I’m not. I tend to get B’s or C’s due to the lack of class participation. I do the work, and am okay when in a group but I am not able to raise my hand in class for fear of being wrong. Anxiety sort of takes over and I wonder what if I’m wrong, maybe I shouldn’t have even asked? Do you have any advice or ideas to help me overcome my fear?

Sincerely, Binx

 

The fear of being wrong is more common than you think. Go for it! Just be yourself and be positive.

Take a deep breath and start small. Work on being super confident when in a group, and when you want to answer a question in class think about how you would speak if you were in that group.

Try sitting with a friend and get them to ask a question or answer a question before you. Doing something intimidating together can help the both of you to be more confident. Start by answering questions in your smallest class, or the class you find the least intimidating.

Take your pick! I’m pretty sure no one in your class actually bites at this age anymore, but who knows, bite back! Maybe one of them is feeling the exact same way.

Something I used to do which can be useful is to make a list of worst-case and best-case scenarios and put them in order of possibility. Here’s an example; My pants falling down and showing my bright pink underwear while answering a question would be at the bottom with the worst-case ideas, and me just giving the wrong answer and being corrected then the class moving on would be at the top with the best-case scenarios.

The key thing here is to make an effort to find out the right answer and maybe the experience will help you learn.  Work on being able to laugh at your mistakes, even if it is only on the outside! No one is rooting for you to fail except the secret monkey in Chris’s closet.

The ability to stay positive is important, even Chris stands up to that monkey, and so should you. Expect nothing but success and be confident in the things that you know you are good at and use that same confidence in things you’re not good at. Confidence is magnetizing and no one can make fun of someone who is confident in the right way, it’s like that one kid who is always wrong yet he is so confident that he makes it look easy being wrong.

Work on standing up straight and smiling. Be positive with your body language. Don’t worry about imitating other people, you will come across much more confident if you are yourself versus trying to be like someone who is not you. Take risks.  If you do something risky and succeed your confidence will skyrocket, just don’t get cocky!